Pete_LeGrant November 9, 2009 Entertainment 1,019 views Comments Print This Post  Email This Post

The following is satire. Shitty, shitty satire. By all means, let me hear your input in the comments. Seriously–get it all out. But if you’re mildly amused, also check out: Cheney: “Obama scared of Modern Warfare 2″

_________________________________________________________

Activision is desperately yanking copies of Modern Warfare 2 from the shelves tonight, having discovered that a reader on  PWNorDIE.com named “FUCK ACTIVISION” posted a comment that said: “FUCK MW2!!!!!!”

Consumers who have bought the game will receive a letter of apology from every game designer at Activision and Infinity Ward–handwritten using that designer’s blood for ink.

Any attempt to play Modern Warfare 2 on any platform will cause the machine to freeze until the disc has been removed from the tray, due to a simple patch that the game will download upon insertion into the tray.

Robert Bowling, Creative Strategist at Infinity Ward, fought back tears today as he spoke to journalists outside a Dairy Queen in Thousand Oaks, CA. Bowling said:

We are deeply saddened to say today that we are giving up on Modern Warfare 2. The astute PWNorDIE reader, FUCK ACTIVISION, has delivered the decisive review of our efforts, and we are now deeply ashamed of the piece of hot steaming dogshit that you might have bought.

We are thoroughly embarrassed that the truth has come to light. How can anyone resist the compelling logic, the flawless argumentation that FUCK ACTIVISION has delivered? Anyone–anyone–who reads the comment will be instantly convinced that is is true. You tell me. How can we sleep at night? How can we look ourselves in the eye?  You tell me.

So, we also agree: “FUCK MW2!!!!!!” We’re dumping that load of pigshit–into the sewer where it belongs. We are taking immediate action to protect the public from the shit-quake that would’ve resulted from the purchase of Modern Warfare 2.

Any attempt to play that turd known as Modern Warfare 2 on a PC, PS3, or XBOX 360 will download a patch that will prevent that crap-tastic game from loading.  We don’t want anybody to know just how shit-tacular both Activision and Infinity Ward have become. Tell Cheney and W we’re sorry. We don’t want anybody to see how shitty even the title screen is. It’s been a shitty, shitty day. Now, can I get back to this Mr. Misty? Thank you.

There is no word, yet, on what Activision’s next move is, as they are busy crying themselves to sleep.

______________________________________________________

Pete_LeGrant is a fan of Jim Mora and the “Trailer Park Boys” crew: Ricky, Julian, and Jim Lahey.