Pete_LeGrant November 13, 2009 Entertainment 575 views Comments Print This Post  Email This Post

Joe Lieberman speaks out against camping.

Washington, D.C.  After the House of Representatives overwhelming passed the bill last week, the Senate voted , 98-2, to to ban “camping” in video games. The new federal law goes into effect next week on Monday.

“Camping” occurs when a gamer sits in one spot, moving very little. This player usually snipes and fortifies his position with proximity mines, etc. Other players may get frustrated by their inability to figure out where they are getting shot from or by their inability to take over the spot.

James Inhofe (R, OK) said, “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that God hates campers, and today God’s will was done.” John Kerry (D, MA) said: “You sure as hell weren’t able to camp in Vietnam. Why should you be able to camp in video games? It’s just not realistic.”

Joe Lieberman, an independent senator from Connecticut said:

Who’s winning now, Mr. Camping Asshole? Can’t camp anymore, can ya? Making smores around the campfire. Fucker. Must be boring for you, camping all the time. Now, you now get 2 seconds in one spot, and then you have to move at least 5 feet. How do you like that shit? And you can’t go back to the same spot. Ever. Now you’ll have run around, hipshooting, blasting all over the place, just like the rest of us. Can’t use your precious sniper rifle now, can ya noob?

Gamers who refuse to abide by the anti-camping law will be subject to 55 seconds of high-pitched whining and/or blubbering between matches, as well as hate mail from law-abiding noncampers.